So, I guess since I’ve already typed the word Forgiveness in the Title field I’ll have to write about forgiveness…since I’ve already typed the Title field and all…and I would look pretty silly if I wrote about something else. And then, I want to write about forgiveness because I have to ask it of my readers, since I haven’t written for a bunch of weeks.
There are several definitions of forgive at dictionary.com. You can look at them if you want by clicking here. But here is the important one (paraphrased):
4. to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one’s blogger.
I thought that one was particularly apropos – especially after I modified it. And I didn’t even need Photoshop.
I guess you may be more inclined to forgive me if I gave you a good excuse for not writing. But isn’t that an oxymoron? “Good Excuse”? I’m pretty sure my dad used to tell me that I was “making excuses” if I did the wrong thing and he was yelling at me. And I’m pretty sure I did that to @BaristaBro and @Peggerspregers when they were younger as well. So, therefore, if it’s an excuse it can’t be good, right?
So, what I’m going to do is give you a few reasons why I haven’t written. The first and least likely to elicit forgiveness: I didn’t feel like thinking that hard. Yep, I said it, it’s too much work. Another reason: I’ve been watching the show Lost 
from the very beginning on Hulu. Yeah, I got hooked on Lost. It gets pretty confusing at times, with the visions, dreams, flashbacks, flashforwards, dreams of flashbacks, visions of flashforwards, good guys, bad guys, good bad guys, bad good guys, good guys that were bad guys that are now good guys going bad….well, you get the picture. But it’s a pretty good show. And we don’t have cable or satellite TV (why should we, Hulu is free and has everything on it – disclaimer: I am not now nor have I ever been affiliated with Hulu.com 
) and we can stream our shows to the 60″ projector with the xBox 360.
OK. Those have just been excuses. The real reason I haven’t blogged: I’ve been editing the final draft of Digital Conspiracy for my friend Patrick. It’s almost ready folks and I think it’s gonna be a winner. Chapter One has my character, Chance, rock climbing on 400 foot high Looking Glass Rock (you can see it in the image at the top of the page.) And yes, I’ve actually done that on several occasions. It’s been a few years (sadly, probably 10 or so.) But it’s still one of my favorite places in the world.
But I guess, as usual, I have digressed (I just love that word.) In all seriocity (how’s that word? Sounds real, doesn’t it?) I have to say, forgiveness is not really for the benefit of the one being forgiven. Forgiveness benefits the one doing the forgiving. That’s why refusing to forgive someone of something actually hurts you, not them.
So I’ll wrap this with one of my favorite verses about forgiveness.
“ If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” Romans 12:20
Don’t you just love it? Forgiving your enemies is like heaping coals of fire on their heads! Mwahaha! That’s so much better than telling them you’ll never forgive them. Better for you, too!
Oh, yeah. One more thing. Forgiveness, like Love, is a decision, not a feeling or emotion. Decide to forgive and keep deciding to forgive and your feelings will follow along like a little puppy dog.
So, forgive me for not blogging. I’ll try to do better. Oops! I’ll do better. (“Try not, do or do not. There is no try.” ~Yoda~)
Coffee, coffee, coffee, capucheeeeeeno! ~Greg – Dante’s Peak~
21 comments
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September 30, 2009 at 3:11 am
@baristabro
“Forgiveneessss is more than sayin sorryyyyyy” -Samantha James, Just Friends
September 30, 2009 at 8:04 am
Just JW
Dude, you almost got this right. Heaping burning coals on thier heads was not a form of punishment, but a gift in the Biblical days. When a man left your camp to go on a journey, or to continue his journey, He wore a metal pan on his head, overed with a turban, or the turban held it on his head, whatever. So, during the cold day he could feel the burning coal starting to cool and would add more coal to it. On the evening of his first day after leaving your camp, he would take the still burning ember to light his new camp fire with. Heaping burning coals on one’s head was really overdoing it, and that’s why this example was used.
Forgiving someone is a gift that you give someone, that keeps on giving (or forgiving. Remember the 70 x 7 rule?)
September 30, 2009 at 9:58 am
Tim
Come on JW! You’re such a fun-sucker.
Check this out:
http://userwww.service.emory.edu/~cmadd01/coalfire.html
These folks seem to think the old oriental coal fire thing may not apply in this case based on other references where the coal fire rain actually was judgement.
Just sayin….
September 30, 2009 at 10:42 am
Cobe-ster (lil sis)
The point is not judgement, but conviction. We are not allowed to pass judgement in ANYway. But we are COMMANDED to LOVE. To forgive, as you so eloquently pointed out, is a conscious decision, not an emotion. And so it is with LOVE. When we love, we lift up Jesus. And when we lift Him up, He draws all men to Him. By choosing to love and forgive both our enemies and our well meaning but misguided friends, family, extended family thru Christ, we open the door for the Holy Spirit to begin operating in the circumstance. What is bound here is bound there, remember? The Holy Spirit, at least it’s been my experience, never brow beats, but BOY! can he make you feel pretty uncomfortable about your behavior.
And conviction sure feels like “burning coals” to me!
Which brings me to my final point…..I thought I was to edit the great novel!!? Ahhh well, I suppose I will forgive you.
) xo!
September 30, 2009 at 11:04 am
Tim
Hey your Cobe-ness!
That was well said. Thanks for the comment.
And BTW, forgiveness is not yet necessary for the great novel. You’ll have your shot at it shortly. We’re just trying to make sure you and a few other readers will not have to wade through too many grammar/punctuation issues.
September 30, 2009 at 11:10 am
Judy Emery
Well! I just came to this blog too late, obviously. All the good stuff has been said. And wonderfully.
I can add one little ditty. You mentioned Dante’s Peak there at the end. We lived in the town where that was filmed for a while : Wallace, Idaho.
And I forgive you, Tim.
September 30, 2009 at 11:51 am
Tim
Judy!
Dante’s Peak definitely has a high rank in the list of my fave movies. What could be better than James Bond and Sarah Connor together in the same flick? I’d love to see the town where it was filmed. It’s so beautiful.
And I’ve used that quote from Greg on many occasions. It’s like the all-purpose coffee quote.
And thanks for the forgiveness….
September 30, 2009 at 11:22 am
Cobe-ster (lil sis)
………..o and PS
Forgiveness is Love, and I do sorta love ya……..
Just sayin’………………………………….
October 1, 2009 at 11:43 am
Tina
Unforgiveness leads to hate. Hate leads to the Dark Side – oh wait, I think I’m mixing quotes now.
I do know that unforgiveness will really consume a person. Does forgiveness come in gradations to fit the percieved offense? Probably not. It is definitely harder to choose to forgive things that seem like a worse offense than those that seem to be a minor infringement. And harder to forgive things that were purposed or pre-meditated vs. those things that are not purposed or “accidental”. I know God doesn’t judge in gradations so why is it that we view things in shades of gray? I guess because He is able to see the inward heart of the person (their purpose) and we can only make decisions based on how much of the black or white of their purpose shows through in their actions and hence the shades of gray. Ok, enough deep thinking for me for one day.
I forgive you – how could I not? You are just so forgive-able. Hee Hee.
I loved your new word BTW – seriocity – but I think it would be better spelled as seriosity (just my 2c – not sure if the c or s better fits our hodge-podge of English spelling rules). Darn, my coffee is gone too. Later…
October 1, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Tim
Hey Tina!
Mixed quotes aside, well put!
And I concur, my new word is better spelled seriosity, or maybe seriousity….
October 2, 2009 at 12:19 am
RUDY
Hey you still didnt tell me If you laughed at the glass half full thing or not. I even had to type it twice since the first one didnt work, I though long and hard about something funny to write. Oh well guess someone else thats having a glass half full day, is about to get clubbed. Hopefully he or she will forgive me!!!
October 2, 2009 at 1:17 am
Ron Gallman
We are commanded to forgive. However, I have never read where we are to forget for if we forget we can never learn and will make the same mistakes. If someone does you wrong and breaks your trust in any way you should forgive them. But should we forget then we could be harmed by that person, group, whatever again. So…… Should we forgive and forget? Or should we just forgive? I know that the father has the sea of forgetfulness but…. Interesting topic here.
October 2, 2009 at 9:22 am
Tim
Hey Ron,
Definitely an interesting topic. I must forgive, but do I have to treat the forgiven person as if the act never occurred? I’m pretty sure we’d be screwed if God treated us differently for something we did. Of course, the difference between us and Him is that God can see into our hearts. He knows whether our repentance is true or just so many words. But he also knows that we’re prone to do it again.
Anyone else have thoughts on this subject?
October 2, 2009 at 9:17 am
Tim
Rudy > Yeah. It was funny.
October 29, 2009 at 11:02 pm
rudy
ok, here is how I see it, cold air, driving fast, windows down fleece zipped up, music cranking, on theway to a great movie, hot coffee in hand ung&*&* i gotta go
October 2, 2009 at 1:21 am
Ron Gallman
When I was a kid some teacher or maybe (probably) a shrink asked me if the glass in the picture was half full or half empty. My mom and dad said I looked at her so serious and said; I don’t know or you pouring it in or drinking it out.
October 2, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Cob-ette
HHHhhhmmm……….very interesting topic. If you’ve truly forgiven someone, how can you remember the debt? It’s erased, right? But then, we are expected to judge fruit. Wouldn’t wisdom dictate that we pay attention to the fruit other individuals produce? When are we being spiritual and when are we being self-righteous?
I have forgiven people that have hurt me again and then had to forgive again. In fact, I have wrestled before the Lord because I knew I was commanded to forgive, and at least one particular individual I was commanded to honor and repsect. And I not only didn’t want to forgive, I absolutely didn’t want to honor or respect them. Forgiveness can be excrutiatingly painful, depending on the offense. But in my own life, I’ve found it most difficult to forgive individuals that I can not simply divest myself of, and I can guarantee that they will hurt me again. That’s a LOVE that is beyond my strength to give. But loving the lovable ones is no better than the world.
October 2, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Judy
I don’t recall if the Word says to forget a foul deed done against you, but…. we should model ourselves after Jesus who forgave repeatedly. God formed us with the capasity to have memories, so He knows we remember. It’s how we act on a bad memory that could be good or bad. For instance, if I forget that fire will burn me, and get burned repeatedly, that’s just plain stupid. But, if I’ve supposedly forgiven someone, then turn around scoff him because he’s such a nasty fellow, then I haven’t really forgiven and forgotten. And God’ll get me! He says to forgive over and over, like He forgives us. We could say to Him, “God, I forgive the fellow for the nasty way he treated me. Help ME Lord in my unforgiveness.” And He will, because He is one awesome God!
October 4, 2009 at 2:14 am
Tim
Yeah. I think the key here is that we must learn from our situations, forgive those who wrong us and attempt reconciliation, if possible. But I think repentance on the part of the one who wronged us must be an element of reconciliation. God forgives freely, but reconciliation to God requires true repentance. But that comes back to the fact that only God can see the heart of the wrongdoer. We can only judge (yes, I said judge) the wrongdoer’s words and fruit. I think reconciliation must be based upon that judgment.
But as Judy points out, we have to be careful how we handle the situation to keep gossip and such from entering in.
Any more thoughts about this folks?
October 11, 2009 at 11:40 pm
matt
Kudos to everyone! and since this is a blog, let me blog this…..
Corrie Ten Boom said ” Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.”
After speaking at a church one evening, a man approached her to thank her. As he got closer, she recognized him as one of the guards at the Nazi concentration camp who brutalized her and her sister. She was overtaken with a flood of emotions and memories of all the pain and humiliation she had to endure at the hands of this man. She had just spoken of the love of a Savior. and she wrestled within herself what to do. She did the one thing we all need to do, she surrendered to the Lord. Your will not mine. In a way said, I trust you Lord with my pain. As she was able to do this, she told her former captor ” I forgive you!”. He broke down and cried and accepted Jesus as his Savior.
If we are predestined to be conformed unto His image, and we are. We have to surrender our will for His. Jesus never did anything unless He first heard His Father tell Him so. He lived a surrendered life.
Just saying`………..
December 31, 2009 at 9:39 am
SuperPennie
Haha what a wonderful introduction to your blog. I can’t really forgive you, ’cause you didn’t do me wrong. But I can’t without forgiveness for you when you’ve not done me wrong. So I just don’t know where I stand on the matter.
You have yourself a new reader/follower/fan/stalker
Well maybe not the last one, but I guess it depends on how you want to define it.